It really depends on the size of the dog...

Dog Poo Pickerupper and Lawn Mower (Lafayette in Yamhill County)

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Date: 2009-11-30, 3:43PM PST
Reply to:

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I don't like doing yard work all that much. It's just me and I work quite a bit. I am looking for someone that lives relatively close to the McMinnville / Lafayette area in Yamhill County to do some of my chores for me, living in Lafayette would work the best however not required if you have a way to get here. I would prefer this someone to be a kid looking for a weekly gig. During the winter I wont need the lawn mowed so much, but I would like the dog poo picked up weekly. If this works out, during the summer I will have you pick up the poo and mow once a week. The neighbor kid moved and he was the person I had doing this before.


Dirty work (poo pickerupper) $10 and $10 for the lawn mowing

Winter Time, $10 a week except once a month mowing and that week will be $20 (November -April)

During the summer I will give whom ever $20 a week (May-October)

• Location: Lafayette in Yamhill County
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

Be all that you can Bedazzle

I applied for this job.


Rhinestone Promo (Portland)

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Date: 2009-11-28, 8:23AM PST
Reply to: ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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This a promotional event for an international clothing company that takes place on:

12/5 1-5PM

PLEASE PUT "Portland" IN THE SUBJECT LINE OR WE WILL NOT CONSIDER YOU.

The event would require you to sit at a table and after the customer purchases boots or shoes they would come to you and choose from the samples of Rhinestone patterns that you have and you would, then, iron the pattern on the item. We provide you with all the pre-made Rhinestone patterns and they are already pre-pasted and ready to be ironed on. The only thing you need to bring, that is yours, is an iron. We also send you a sample cloth with all the patterns available.

If you are interested please contact us as soon as possible! Also, include your phone #. Thank you.

• Location: Portland
• Compensation: $30/hr
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

But where do you find them shoes?

Chicken Dressing (La Center, WA)

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Date: 2009-11-23, 8:35AM PST
Reply to:^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Will be dressing 100 chickens on 1 Dec... Please respond with experience..

• Location: La Center, WA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: $10/hr DOE

Nope, not creepy at all.

I'm a 7 on the richter scale. Does that count?


College Undergrad House Cleaner Wanted : $10 per hour (NW Portland)

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Date: 2009-11-22, 12:27PM PST
Reply to:^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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House cleaning services needed

Please have the following skills: dish washing, vacuum cleaning, scrubbing, taking out the trash, laundry ect.

Pay: $10.00 per hour

Also, please consider yourself a 7 or better

Please reply with name, age, skill set and a picture

And no this ad is not supposed to be creepy even though it sounds like it.

• Location: NW Portland
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: 10 per hour

Do ghosts have sex?

Because only ghosts are willing to work for free.

Seeking ghost writer

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Date: 2009-11-21, 6:35AM PST
Reply to: ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Seeking ghost writer to assist with articles and possible book on the topic of sexuality and relationships. I have very little money but will offer you some compensation along with magazine ad space in return for your services. Please send salary requirements and resume.

Thank you.

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: tbd

Who are you calling a hooker?

Damn! Being a drunk drug addicted hooker is really holding me back from getting the kind of job I want.

Pretty, Easygoing, over 21? (NOT ADULT) (Portland)

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Date: 2009-11-21, 11:31AM PST
Reply to:  ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

I am looking for 2-3 girls to do some promotional runs in bars and special events in east county. Must be able to start and control conversations with strangers, Be comfortable in a bar atmosphere, and NOT be a drug addict, drunk, or a hooker. The gig will be 3-5 hours per week and is not intended to be a primary source of income. I am a female and will be overseeing the events... their will be no nudity, however we may do occasional events in strip clubs, and you must be comfortable flirting as marketing tool. This is a fun, easy way to make extra cash. MUST ENJOY TALKING TO PEOPLE!!!!!

We can discuss pay when we speak.
Cash will be paid the night of the event and dinner will be provided
YOU ARE NOT SELLING ANYTHING

Reply w/ a pic and related job experience, I would be happy to answer any questions you may have:)

• Location: Portland
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

Nothing to laugh about...

I know it's a Saturday afternoon, but today all of the Portland Metro Area posted less than 30 actual help wanted ads on Craigslist. None of them were funny.

Thank god for the "GIGS" section. That's where the pure awesomeness of Craigslist truly lies.

BEST JOB EVER!

These aren't the droids you're looking for.


Hypnotist - Paid Internship (Beaverton, OR)

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Date: 2009-11-20, 1:17PM PST
Reply to:

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Are you positive minded, upbeat, enthusiastic and compassionate? Are you interested in helping people change their lives for the better? We currently have an opening in our Hypnotist Internship program for someone just like you. We will train you to be a certified Hypnotist and pay you while you become an important part of our team.


Our company is a leader in helping people develop lasting lifestyle changes through hypnosis, including Weight Loss, Smoking Cancellation, Pain Mastery, Sales Mastery, Accelerated Learning and so much more.


A successful candidate will have these attributes:


• Compassionate
• Self confident
• High energy
• Organized
• Motivated
• Reliable
• And a desire to help others achieve their goals


Professional appearance is a must. Previous experience with Weight Loss and Nutrition a definite plus, but not necessary. Our program is a 500 hour course that is recognized nationally. Salary DOQ .


Benefits include: Medical, Vacation, and Holiday.


Please forward resumes to

• Location: Beaverton, OR
• Compensation: $13.00 - $15.00/hr
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Modeling, Baby, Modeling!

Damn Babies! Taking all our good American jobs! How can you tell if a baby is acting anyway? I can act like a baby.

Baby Models/actors Wanted (Vancouver)

Date: 2009-11-20, 12:01PM PST
Reply to:  [Errors when replying to ads?]

We are an agency located in Vancouver, WA. We have been around for 11 Years and are looking for some new faces and talent. We are starting a fall session of baby models and are hoping to find some beautiful, new, young faces. If your baby is between ages 15 Months- 6 Years, then you are just who we are looking for. If you would like your baby to get into modeling or acting, let us know. We are looking to represent. Email your information to----------. We will need to know: your name, babies name, babies age, specify gender, best number to reach you as well as best time to call, and if you feel inclined you can attach a photo. Thank you.

Location: Vancouver
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: You get payed when your baby attracts clients.

I was disqualified.

This is really depressing.
I tried to get this job today, but they told me I wasn't qualified.
I knew I should have lied when they asked me if I drank wine coolers!
crapsticks!

$45 paid taste test people age 31-34 (Lloyd center area)

Date: 2009-11-18, 1:14PM PST
Reply to: see below

DRINK AND GET PAID

OKAY, here we go again!! We are looking for men & women age 31-34 to give us their opinion on a new drink. This is your chance to influence what beverages show up on your grocery shelves.

The study takes place Thursday Nov 19th.

This 1 1/2 tasting pays $45.00 for the taster and you must have a designated driver to take you home. We will pay your designated driver $10.00 for giving you a ride home.

There are 2 sessions to choose from: 7:00pm or 9:00pm

Help us get the product to you and your fellow drinkers. Call Cunningham Research at 503-287-7812 between 11am and 6:30pm .

Call soon these fill up fast!!!!

Location: Lloyd center area
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $45.00 for the taster $10.00 for the designated driver
PostingID: 1472046035

Because the Little People hate little letters.

You know, I do enjoy yelling.
I'm 5'7", but I could walk on my knees.




SHORT PEOPLE WANTED FOR BRIEF PAID EVENT (portland)

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Date: 2009-11-18, 9:23AM PST
Reply to: gigs-m9uyj-1471629181@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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MIDGETS DWARFS LITTLE PEOPLE OR ANY ONE OVER 18 YEARS OLD AND SHORTER THAN 4'11 NEEDED. THIS IS FOR A PRANK THAT MY ORGANIZATION IS PULLING AND IT WILL BASICALLY ENTAIL RUNNING AROUND THROUGH A ROOM AND SHOUTING A STUFF DURING A SMALL MEETING OF 50 PEOPLE IT WILL TAKE PROBABLY LESS THAN 15 MINUTES TOTAL OF YOUR TIME AND YOU WILL BE PAID 20 DOLLARS! NO QUESTIONS ASKED I DO NOT YET KNOW OF THE EXACT DATE OF THE EVENT BUT I DO KNOW IT WILL BE ON A TUESDAY AROUND 10:30 AM

PRICE IS NEGOTIABLE!!!!!

THANK YOU

• Location: portland
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: $20 FOR 15 MINUTES

I am definitely NOT clicking on your link.

I'm glad it didn't hurt.



Present Money

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Date: 2009-11-18, 2:02PM PST
Reply to:

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Hi just want to share this info with you. I also made extra money with this site, check it out.
I made enough extra money on that not to waste my paycheck on presents.
Excited to see more coming. I was afraid first to but it didn't hurt moreover I'm happy now that a made this cash.

Me too.

I need my beard trimmed (Portland)

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Date: 2009-11-18, 1:46PM PST
Reply to:

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I need a good beard trim
Anyone done this before?

• Location: Portland
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 1472103674

No really. I wouldn't.

Okay, I know parenting is hard work. But does it belong in the Jobs section? And wouldn't being a mother qualify as a full time job?

You would make a great Foster Parent (Portland Metro)

Date: 2009-11-18, 12:16PM PST
Reply to:

As a foster parent with our agency you will receive comprehensive pre-placement and on-going training, connection to a supportive community of foster families, 24/7 access to supportive staff, a generous monthly tax-free reimbursement and paid respite.

What do foster children need? Youth in our care told us they want foster parents who will “include them as they do their own children, take them out in the community, talk to them, let them know they are safe, listen and not always try to fix things, treat them with love and respect, be a good role model, and are non-judgmental”. Additionally, foster parents must be 21 years of age, be able to pass a criminal history report, have an Oregon drivers license and a safe driving record, a separate room for foster children, and able to demonstrate financial stability.


Location: Portland Metro
Compensation: generous tax-free stipend, ammount varies depending on program.
This is a part-time job.
This is at a non-profit organization.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Excitement! Adventure!

Sounds great!
Wait.... what happened to all the other translators? ... and what exactly do you mean by "various environments"
Did you say $196,900 a year?!? Okay! Let's go!

Arabic Translators Positions (Iraq)

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Date: 2009-11-18, 9:43AM PST
Reply to:

---

Major Government Contractor Looking for Arabic-Speaking Translators
¨Do you speak, read and write Arabic?
¨Do you wish to pursue a government career?

GLS HAS IMMEDIATE OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE FOR ARABIC LINGUISTS

Our mission is to provide quality translators and interpreters to military operations in Iraq.
Our goal at GLS is to provide the best customer service possible to our two main customers, the US Government and our Linguists. GLS has brought to this effort experienced, dedicated and devoted management staff, who understand the complexities of conducting linguist operations in various environments.

The GLS team consists of experienced military and business professionals in the field of linguist services, language training and testing, recruiting, intelligence, U.S. military operations in Iraq, information management technology and outreach to the diverse Arab American community.

GLS is seeking experienced individuals for opportunities in Iraq.

Call:

• Location: Iraq
• Compensation: $145,050.00-$196,900.00/Year
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Spiderman

10 dollars says that he feeds you to the spiders if he doesn't like your photos.

Photographer needed for Tarantulas (Vancouver)

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Date: 2009-11-16, 1:07PM PST
Reply to:

---

I am looking for a photographer that is willing to come to my home and take pictures of my tarantulas. I do not presently own a quality camera, and would like to get some quality photos. I have approximately 200 species that you would be free to photograph. My hopes is that I can find someone to do this for free. You will be able to use the photos in anyway you want.

• Location: Vancouver
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

My mom told me not to.

...go to hillsboro, that is.

Set Your Own Hours -
Talk to Strangers (Hillsboro)

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Date: 2009-11-16, 10:15AM PST
Reply to:

---

If you enjoy talking to new people this may be a great fit for you.

We are looking for a positive energetic responsible person to hand out free music lesson passes. Great pay. Set your own hours. Part time or full time.

Please send a resume. Thanks!

• Location: Hillsboro
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: $15-$40 per hour

Well, how am I supposed to get the job now?!

Damn it!


LITTLE PEOPLE WANTED FOR BRIEF 15 MINUTE GIG - (portland)event gigs


This posting has been flagged for removal

(The title on the listings page will be removed in just a few minutes.)

Wait. You have to pay to be a stripper?

And all this time I thought they made money dancing nekkid.



Dancers wanted (Vancouver/Portland)

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Date: 2009-11-15, 8:30PM PST
Reply to:

---

Requirements:
Dancing Skills
Over 18 years of age
Energetic
Responsible
Reliable
Mature but still have a sense of humor

You will be dancing and wearing a professional uniform, think of "Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders" just different. There will be a monthly fee of $ 20,- Dollars however, in the near future the cheerleaders will be paid for some dancing, and so there will be no fee after all.

Some cheerleaders will probably make up to $ 50-200,- Dollars a month or more, just for dancing and enjoying their hobby.

Please email a photo, a few words about your dancing experience/personality, and of course your contact information.

• Location: Vancouver/Portland
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: TBD
• 
  

Desperately Seeking Spellcheck

eagles club seeka Acustic talent (Downtown Vancouver)

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Date: 2009-11-17, 10:29AM PST
Reply to:

---

We are a non profit organization that is seeking Acustic talent to play this thursday evening around 10 pm, You will recieve a dollar for every ticket and two for every self promoted guest that arrives. We do incourage you to sell your CD's if you have them this is a great oppurtunity to get your foot in the door of a great community based buisness, all talented musicians will be more than welcome to return for future shows. We are a members only association and gigs must be sought out through me. Take advantage of this oppurtunty.

Rock Bottom

You know times are tough when you don't even have enough experience to get to Rock Bottom.



Host Position @ Rock Bottom (Downtown)

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Date: 2009-11-17, 2:00PM PST
Reply to: job-umnak-1470568371@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

Rock Bottom is currently looking for an EXPERIENCED host. Rock Bottom has a great staff and a great fan base, a desire for fun is a requirement! We are looking for a people person who loves to smile and will interact well with our guest. You must also be able to multitask, dealing with guests, phones and orders can get a bit hectic. While not a requirement, we are after all a brewery so a love for beer is always a good thing. So if you think this is the fit for you please go to rockbottom.com and apply. Please do not come in person or call, all applications will be reviewed online and if we feel you would be a good fit for the position we will call you.

• Location: Downtown
• Compensation: doe
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

But will I get to perform cavity searches?

Too bad I only have experience with insecurity.


Security Monitor (NE Portland)

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Date: 2009-11-16, 4:54PM PST
Reply to:

---

Federal Community Correctional Facility privately contracted with the US Bureau of Prisons and US Probation supervising placements in a community setting is hiring both full and part-time positions. Security position with the primary focus of maintaining accountability of up to 100 federal inmates/probationers in a community correctional setting. Conduct security functions in the facility including drug and alcohol testing, facility searches, accountability checks. Communication skills vital to successfully manage inmate population and maintain community safety. Applicants must be able to use computer security systems; professional demeanor including telephone etiquette required. Direct involvement with law enforcement officers, Probation officers, and court system. Training will be provided in all technical aspects of the job. Security experience required. Must pass a full federal background investigation. Please forward resume with response to Security Supervisor Mitchell Lambert at ... Currently hirring 2 P/T Positions

• Location: NE Portland
• Compensation: 11.67 (Possible Health, Dental, Vision, Vacation, Sick, and Retirement)
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Just the job I was looking for.

Have Job. Need Person.

Open Position

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Date: 2009-11-16, 1:11PM PST
Reply to:

---

We need an individual that is self motivated, ambitious, articulate, creative, career minded and a goal orientated individual with a dedicated consistent work ethic.Someone who is excellent in computer and customer service skills and always intrigued to learn new things.

• Compensation: Contact for details
• This is a part-time job.
• This is a contract job.
• OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
• 
  

$40 a week depending on quality of work

Forty American Dollars you say? No shit?

stall cleaner (colton)


Date: 2009-11-15, 10:19AM PST

barn hellp wanted. 5 days a week. clean and feed eveninngs. tues - sat.

• Location: colton
• Compensation: $40./week negotiable depending on quality of work
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Phone calls about this job are ok.
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

This ad actually reminds me of a joke my mom used to tell us as kids.

An optimist and a pessimist are opening their gifts under the christmas tree.

The Pessimist opens up a big box full of horse shit and sighs: "Oh, nothing but shit again."

Meanwhile the optimist squeals in delight and starts digging barehanded through her box of horse shit yelling "Oh boy! There's gotta be a pony in here somewhere!"

The sun on your face, the wind in your hair.

I know. I know. It happens to me all the time. I'm walking around downtown portland minding my own business, when those damn clipboard people jump in my way and ask inane questions in their desperate attempts to raise money.

If you've had this exciting experience, it's probably left you with the same question. No, not "Do I hate Polar bears?", But "How in the world can I get a job that awesome?".

Well envy no more! This is your big chance!

			To Apply: Call: 503.922.2977 (for immediate consideration) Email: portlandjobs@dialoguedirect.com Online Form: www.dialoguejobs.com
	DialogueDirect USA We are a young, enterprising, and innovative company raising support and awareness for a prominent humanitarian organization. We are looking for highly motivated and dedicated individuals with the following attributes: excellent communication skills ability to work independently spur of the moment problem solving goal and detail oriented powers of persuasion, persistence, and positive thinking We offer PAID training to cultivate talents that will make you successful in any career: solid interpersonal skills ability to thrive in a fast-paced team environment effective and professional presentation techniques efficient time management We pay an hourly base rate with an excellent bonus system that averages $600-$1000/weekly. Other perks include medical/dental benefits, flexible schedule, paid time off, fantastic co-workers, opportunities for rapid promotion within the company, and potential for travel. Please email us, apply online, or call Josh at 503.922.2977 for more information and to schedule an interview today!

Don't call us, we'll call you.

What if I just want to prank call people? Can I still get paid? I can do this work from home.


Make phone calls from home (Oregon)

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Date: 2009-11-15, 12:44PM PST

Good communication skills a must.
Make phone calls from home Part-time or Full-time.
Flexible schedule.
Sales or phone experience required.
Must have:
Computer with Internet access
Land line with unlimited long distance calling plan
Send resume to jchatterbox@mcn.net

• Location: Oregon
• Compensation: $10 per hour base plus commission
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• 
  

You're Too Old (LOL)

You know what makes me really want to apply for a job? THE CAPS LOCK KEY!!!

INTERVIEWS START TODAY AND THIS WEEKEND. I'LL INTERVIEW UNTIL I FIND A REALLY GOOD FIT SO IF THAT'S YOU PLEASE REPLY.

I will throw scenarios at you and see how you would handle them in the hiring process. I would really like this to be kind of an internship for young talent (something to build a resume with) or a project for someone who maybe doesn’t need to work but is looking to fill time and do something meaningful. I will ask you to sign a non-compete so if you are looking to borrow my ideas, build a similar company, or work for my competition you need not apply. I need to work with someone I can really TRUST! Character is very important! Also I’m looking for someone who is looking to do this for at least 3 months or more. Please don’t apply if you don’t think you will be a fit.

About Me… I’m almost 30 (but not yet LOL) and I’m male. I’m a single dad which keeps my hours a little shorter than I would like but it’s worth it…

To get a reply you must leave a ph# and specific reasons you think you are a good fit. I won’t respond to generic or thoughtless emails.

Good Luck!

• Location: Gateway - NE Pdx
• Compensation: $10/hour plus generous weekly bonuses
• This is a part-time job.
• This is a contract job.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
• 
  

Cat Washer

Have you ever tried to wash a cat?

I am only really qualified as a cat washing assistant. Actual cat washing is a bit above my pay grade. Here is a video documenting my cat washing assistant skills:

Dog and Cat bather/ Retail Help (Vancouver, WA)

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Date: 2009-11-07, 2:12PM PST
Reply to: see below

Beastie Boutique in Salmon Creek is looking for a Part-Time Pet Bather to prep and bathe dogs and cats for our groomers.

Other duties include some filing, scheduling appointments and general office duties.

We are customer service orientated. You must posses a warm friendly attitude and be energetic.

Attendance and punctuality is critical, we only retain people who are dependable.

Experience preferred. You must know what it’s like to handle and bathe dogs and cats properly to avoid injury to you or the animal. You must be able to trim nails appropriately. If you’ve had a lot of experience around animals, we can talk about training you to bathe.

We are looking for a part-time person who can be flexible with days and hours worked. Mostly needed Fridays and Saturdays but will be needed sometimes during the week. With the holiday’s coming up, there could be a lot of hours needed.

We are also a pet boutique and natural food store. If you are looking for additional hours, we may need some holiday retail help. Any experience in retail is beneficial. You must have a professional image as well.

If you like the sound of this and believe you can qualify, please stop by our store and see us. You may bring in a resume or fill out one of our applications.

Pay to start is $9 per hour.

• Location: Vancouver, WA
• Compensation: $9 per hour

Herpes anyone?

Do you have Herpes? Oh yeah, me neither.

CLINICAL TRIAL DETAIL

FV-100 vs. Valacyclovir in Patients with Herpes Zoster

The purpose of this study is to determine if a new experimental drug (the study drug) is as good or better than another available drug, Valacyclovir, for the treatment of Herpes Zoster (Shingles). The study drug is called FV-100. We want to know how safe and how well the study drug works compared to Valacyclovir. Two doses of the study drug will be used in this research study along with one dose of Valacyclovir.

Contact Information:	Maureen G. Keene, 503-228-7350
Medical Condition(s):	Herpes Zoster (Shingles)
Doctor/Investigator:	Jon Hanifin
Age Group:	Adult
Eligibility Criteria:	Adult male or female subjects at least 50 years or older, experiencing Herpes Zoster (Shingles) rash for no more than 3 days, with Herpes Zoster (Shingles) related pain.
Chance of Placebo:	N/A
Compensation:	$30.00 per completed study visit for a maximum total of $330.00 if all study visits are completed.
Duration:	90 days
Recruitment End:	June 30, 2010
Sponsor(s):	Inhibitex, Inc.
IRB#:	IRB00005361

barefoot and BFA

Well gosh! Now that you mention it, I am doing nothing with that fine arts degree!

I don't know why I was looking for a job that would actually pay me. You had me at "interested in investing time and money"....

Children's Art Studio Instructor/Manager (Newberg)

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Date: 2009-11-03, 2:37PM PST

This job is ideal for any mother who has a fine art degree and is doing nothing with it! This art studio opened in the spring and has brought the gift and fun of fine art to many children in the area. Owner seeks someone who is interested in a business opportunity. This person would posses strong artistic and creative skills and would love to share them with children. This ideal candidate would be interested in investing time and money into growing a fun family friendly business. Current owner looking for fresh ideas, integrity, a strong work ethic and passion for kids. Please email me the reason why you think you would be interested in this opportunity as well as a current resume. Thanks!

• Location: Newberg
• Compensation: Based on classes taught, time invested. It is up to you!
• This is a part-time job.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Industrial Finisher

I actually applied to this job over the summer.

I've left out the important contact details because I'm still secretly hoping they hire me. It all sounds awful until you get to those last few lines...

WORK ENVIRONMENT REQUIREMENTS:
- Ability to work at heights of 20 feet or more, small and/or confined spaces, and outdoors in all weather conditions
- Bend, twist, kneel, walk, climb, and reach for 1-10 hours per day
- Sit, stand, and walk for 1-10 hours per day
- Endure noise, fumes, dust, and inclement weather
- Able to lift, carry, push and or pull 1-50 lbs throughout the day
- Able to push or pull up to 75 lbs

WE OFFER:
- Family benefits only $50 a month, with very short waiting period
- STEADY WORK
- 401k with match, Short Term Disability, Life Insurance and EAP
- Excellent union wages

The worst job ever

Misery loves company, unless that company is applying for the same job opening that you are.

Judging from the URLs that were unavailable when I tried to set this blog up, I'm not the only one searching the meager help wanted ads on Craigslist these days.

Already taken were:

worstjobever

unemployable

crapjobs

neverending

badjobs

funenployment

rotten luck

underemployment

minimumwage

thanksfornothing

DOE

willworkforwork

nicejob

gainfulemployment

I've created this blog to have a place to post all those fabulous jobs I find out there.

I'm planning on including everything from the Topless Barista position that requires 1 year of actual coffee making experience, to the minimum wage job without benefits that requires you to be bilingual and have an advanced degree.

Just for fun, I'll also be including the extra fun moneymaking opportunities that I find, such as joining medical studies as a research subject. Because sometimes even full time employment isn't enough.